No one is perfect. The sooner that you remember that fact, the easier it is to move past life’s stumbling blocks that may be keeping you stuck in a perpetual rut. Self-acceptance can be a slow process. However, you can build confidence by giving yourself a pep talk when self-doubts and stress close in.
Regardless of how you label yourself, each of us is just as unique in appearance and abilities as a snowflake where no two are the same. Some of us are naturally born with beauty and perfect features and a figure that can crush another’s confidence when comparing themselves to a certain ideal. Others will possess extreme intelligence that can’t be measured. Of course, there are always others that will be born with exceptional talents for music, art, dance, writing, gymnastics, sports, etc. that still others won’t ever be able to call upon despite how hard they try. Instead of comparing yourself to an unrealistic picture of others, accept the body, mind and talents that you were given.
Noticing the Good About Yourself Can Help Build Confidence
Perhaps, you feel that you lack physical beauty. If this is the case, then you have a few options. Take what you have and work with that to improve your appearance is a first step to build confidence. What you may want to try is going to a full-service beauty salon to seek out their expertise for a new hairstyle and makeup lessons can help you emerge as a new person with a fresh attitude.
Even if you don’t feel suddenly transformed into a raving beauty, the secret that can help is pretending that you are. When you pretend that you are pretty enough times, you will start to notice others around you reacting differently toward you. A more confident woman is a more beautiful one because she knows her worth in the world. Practice your pep talk silently in the mirror and tell yourself that you look great every day can eventually become your reality.
Yet, you have other attributes that you probably don’t give yourself credit for. Maybe you are a great negotiator or manager and have success and even been singled out at your workplace or group for how well you handle certain situations and tasks. This is also a good quality that you should take pride in when giving yourself a pep talk.
Stop Putting Limitations on Yourself If You Intend to Change for the Better
Everyone has their share of successes and failures. How many times have you attempted to do something and managed to boggle the attempt? After a few times, you or someone else may assume that you don’t have the brains, talent or skill to attempt that job or task again. Let me share a simple example.
When I was young, my mother was sick and I wanted to help cook. I asked her how long to cook potatoes before mashing them. She gave me a time. I mashed the potatoes exactly at that time. Well, she forgot to tell me to test them if they finished cooking. What I made were mashed raw potatoes so terrible that even a neighbor dog that would eat anything refused them. This did not stop me from cooking later in life, despite quite a few horrible dishes that I still get teased about from time to time.
What I’m getting at is if you label yourself a bad cook, you are too hard on yourself. It is not you that are a failure with cooking, but the recipes that you are using! When you don’t follow the recipe completely or the recipe lacks proper instructions, chances are your dishes will not turn out the way you hope.
Try not to automatically expect failure because of prior bad experiences if you intend to improve confidence. Perhaps, you need to learn or practice more to sharpen those skills that can make all the difference when you attempt whatever it is again.
Realize Personalities Are Different and Don’t Always Mesh Together
Stop blaming yourself for not having everyone like you. It is only human to want to be accepted and liked by all, but it is not reality. You try your best and need to learn how to handle rejection because it happens to everyone at some time or another. Chalk this unfortunate experience as a setback, but not as an indicator that you’re a social misfit or inferior to hire.
Each day you will find it easier to change your attitude and build confidence. You just have to practice.
I agree with so much of this post. I try to help my kids with this when they’re feeling down.
Confidence is a tough thing. If you lack confidence it also often leads to isolation and depression. Not always clinical depression, just feelings of sorrow.