Everyone has doubts about themselves at one time or another. People you may never expect may have a negative perception of themselves that may shock you considering all that you think is going for them such as success, beauty, wealth, talent or an incredible intellect. Yet, this is a sad fact of life and human nature of why we need to overcome feelings of worthlessness.
The reason for a poor self-image can vary depending on the standards that we set for ourselves. For instance, your husband may constantly criticize your cooking, cleaning, laundry or handling of the children that can undermine how you think of yourself. Something that gets under your skin is the uncalled remark about your homemade spaghetti sauce perhaps that you go through the trouble of making instead of opening a jar to serve your family. The next time your spouse complains and insists that a generic spaghetti sauce tastes better, then by all means serve that to him for dinner.
Why You Can’t Live by Standards Set by Others for Overcoming Feelings of Worthlessness
Maybe you like to eat your dinner while it’s still hot and steaming. On the other hand, your husband or wife may habitually complain how overly hot it is every time you put a hot plate of food in front of him or her. To avoid an unnecessary comment that you know will be coming, the solution would be to eat your dinner hot first and leave your spouse’s plate on the table to cool. Why continue to let your spouse or another contribute to lowering your self confidence as a form of control that makes you question yourself when you have simple ways to solve such problems?
You may constantly doubt your appearance and feel inferior to someone else even though others may find you attractive. However, the one person that you are trying to please still doesn’t give you the attention you crave regardless of a new hairstyle, makeup, clothes to weight loss. This inability to stand out in that person’s eyes makes you doubt your sense of self-worth that much more, and despite how unjustified it really is. What I’m saying is if you feel that you need to keep changing to prove that you’re worthy of this person, then you are wasting your time and hurting yourself. The best thing you can do is to accept who you are and move on. Doing so can help you gain more confidence.
Perhaps, you never are satisfied with the quality of the work that you do. In return, you could be always trying to improve the same work over and over again, being the perfectionist that you are. Regardless, your boss fails to ever give you any credit for your efforts. Instead of complimenting you for a job well done, he or she finds some insignificant detail to immediately put you in your place. At any rate, belittling could be explained as a method for the boss not to increase your salary or promote you. To overcome feelings of worthlessness, you have two choices. You could accept this treatment or try searching for a new position.
Then again, you may not feel smart enough to apply for that promotion at your workplace even though you would be the best choice based on your training and experience. Instead of allowing your negative thoughts to control you, then try to write all your strengths in one column. As you ponder what you could bring to the position, you might be surprised at the qualities that you could contribute being the unique, talented individual that you are.
Being too lenient with your children when you know it’s not how you would like them to behave can go against your standards. The problem is that you permit them to get away with some behavior like not going to bed on time during a school night. Having caved into their demands once, you blame yourself as a weak parent.
You can also form a poor opinion of yourself because of how you go against some of your own principles because that’s how you are from the label slapped onto you as a personality trait. For example, you are too blunt and tend to speak before thinking, which gets you in trouble and later ashamed of what came out of your mouth.
In order to change that behavior and overcome feelings of worthlessness to gain a better opinion of yourself, what helps is self reflection by examining your thoughts. Ask yourself what really motivated you to say those hurtful words. Was it to feel superior, embarrass or get revenge over that person? Those types of feelings trap us into low self esteem as well.
Change is never easy, but taking that first step is the place to start when attempting to overcome feelings of worthlessness.