Striving for a long-lasting relationship can take effort and commitment that are not always easy. After all, couples are individuals with different personalities and that doesn’t stop once you marry. Nonetheless, if you love someone and hope to maintain an enduring relationship, then let me share what my grandmother passed on to me about the secrets to a lifelong relationship to my grandfather that lasted 56 years until his death.
Being attracted to that person is one thing, but there is more besides sexual chemistry if you hope to develop a long-lasting relationship. You need to like that person and be friends, not just lovers.
You need to talk to each other and not keep disagreements from escalating. If something is bothering you about what your spouse or partner did, don’t let that unresolved problem turn into resentment. Take a deep breath and think carefully before you open your mouth. Communicate how you feel and why along with what you want as calmly and respectfully as possible. Share that and then ask why your spouse feels the other way and try to meet in between.
The most serious argument that I remember my grandmother and grandfather arguing about was the date of the true Christmas. One believed the Christmas tree should go up before December 25. On the other hand, my grandfather thought the tree should go up after December 25 because the true Christmas was January 7. What happened was the tree was put up on December 24, but was displayed with colored lights on the porch until after my grandfather’s Christmas on January 7. It is critical to any lengthy relationship to never go to bed angry. My grandparents each made concessions on that Christmas tree, but they compromised. I never heard them raise their voices to each or really argue with that exception.
One other disagreement was about how my grandfather preferred his cake. He never liked icing, but my grandmother and the rest of us did. To compromise, she would scrape the icing off of his cake or just serve him pound cake, which he had to have a slice every day along with oatmeal and coffee at breakfast.
Keeping the romance alive is important for any long-lasting relationship. On my grandmother’s birthday, my grandfather would cook dinner and wash the dishes afterwards. However, something as simple as putting her teakettle on the stove for her tea so it was warm while she started breakfast and made his coffee was also sweet. Little gestures to please your spouse have a way to touch a heart more than you may realize.
My grandmother used to always have my grandfather’s slippers waiting in their front hall. They were warmed and ready for him to slip his feet into after work, which also lingered in my mind. My grandmother and grandfather cherished each other in those type of small ways. As a result, they truly found the secrets to a long-lasting relationship that forever imbedded in my mind.
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